15) Your Own Worst Enemy

     Have you ever heard or had voiced towards you the idiom, "You are your own worst enemy?" At a much younger age I scoffed and disregarded such presumed nonsense yet being older I now ascertain that perhaps there is in actuality something there.

     Every individual truly is themselves the only enemy they shall ever experience throughout life. If someone else is what you would consider an enemy then it is simply you who are allowing them to become such. Either physically, mentally, emotionally or otherwise, you alone are allowing them to enact their negative will and influence upon you. They do not pierce and defeat you. You defeat yourself by allowing them in.

     It is easy to become overpowered and unknowingly act or react in these situations. How many times have you said, "Why did I say that?" or, "Why did I do that?" or, "I knew better than that!" These acknowledgements are all too common and are perfect examples of battling oneself.

     These occurrences are some of the most painful to address also. It is incredibly difficult to admit self-erroneous ways and to understand that you could have and should have come to a more appropriate conclusion. Two ways to increase your percentage of success are;

1) Slow down and think before you speak or act. Your brain is quick. Make sure you are keeping up and doing so logically.

2) Control your emotions. Most of them shall only work against any worthwhile deductions. Whether it be anger, happiness, fear, sorrow, love, hate, jealousy or any of the others, make sure you remain level when formulating your conclusions. Do so especially while speaking. Words spoken are never able to be rescinded.

11) Lover's Blindness

     I see that you sit there and silently stare at her as she looks out with her fierce gaze across the Pacific. You cannot define it, it baffles you. There you are watching her body's graceful movements, acknowledging  how everything else contorts around and is dwarfed by it. She controls the very elements just as she does you. The sea breezes dance through her hair. The sun beams forth strong and highlights her picturesque features. The ocean's waves playfully scamper at her feet. You watch her lips as she takes each breath and you gladly return her smile as you make her feel more alive. Simple and yet precise are her mannerisms. Quiet and strong is her will and mind.

     What is it that can take you completely out of the comprised elements of your existence and leave you staggered?

     What is the definition of the power that can so easily supersede and completely negate the all powerful mind and will?

     There is an overpowering captivation and you cannot pull away. You are intoxicated and love it for it brightens and bestows upon you a sense of accomplishment. You have what you needed. You have what you need. You have what you always shall need.

     You crave it.

     You are becoming one with it.

     You feel a rising compulsion to repeatedly ask, "How are you?" or, "Are you okay?," or, "Can I help?" Instantly however you feel foolish and overbearing for ever voicing such nonsense. Relax and enjoy the positivity of the moment. She and you are certainly worth it. Desiring to be caring and nurturing remains far more pertinent than a few nonsensical and prying questions yet I plead you not to feed this dreaded and worrisome anxiety.

     Do you sense the foreboding? Are your veins woven with certain undesirable inadequacy fibers? Are you enough? Can you function without asking the aforementioned questions to her?

     Is it insecurity?

     You mayhaps try to otherwise explain but the knifing conclusion remains that you are afraid and it is only because of you that you run. Regardless, you ardently try and you would do anything in your power for her. You ask for nothing in return other than to be understood and appreciated as your true self. Not the one that people see or think they see.

    My friend,

               I find what you have stated to me here as completely within reason and a perfectly acceptable demand from this life. Oh but how quickly we tend to judge and do so inaccurately. You do it. I do it. It is unavoidable. At the very least shed the ignorance and understand and accept it as a part of our flawed humanity. Do not deny!

     Everyone exhibits their unique vibration, their own method and execution of existence and like hers, you say. You scream it to me.

     Well then, my suggestion is to smile at the very thought of her and way in which she is. Not at her flawless perfection but instead at her perfect flaws that make her perfection flawless. Love is blind but no more so than any number of things exhibited each and every day.


     "I passionately smile and love her not for her flawless perfection but for her perfect flaws that make her perfection flawless." - Jon-Michael Crochetiere July 12, 2012