Saturday, September 19, 2015

20) Reaction upon loss

      This is brief, humor me. Should one experience great pain, typically the response to counter it is to live in the past. Before the pain. Before the hurt or tragedy. You mentally counter. I was better here. I felt safer then. It was good back there. This is an incorrect response. Then upon realization and to recover and counteract, one chooses to live in the future. I will do this. I will experience this. I will live this way. I will be this person. But that is again an incorrect response. Truly life is unpredictable and without measure therefore the true answer is to value and live within the moment. I will do this now. Be this person at this very moment. I am going here. That is the only way to exist with such unpredictability and succeed. By succeed I mean contribute and by contribute I refer to positively.

19) Return!?

     I awoke this morning, reluctantly, and completely deviated from habit. I did not procrastinate bringing myself upright. I did not listen to the alarm chime over and over again. I did not go straight to shower and brush my teeth. Strangely I came downstairs and grabbed my laptop and came to this blog with the last post being from 2013. Why?  I truly do not wish to delve into the explanation, though marvel at one thing. This is much more reflective of me about two to three years ago. It was a reflection of my previously incessantly thinking and literary mind screaming to express. I am not arguing whether one is more representative of my true self or which is correct or incorrect but more as to the nature of one moment I am this and the next moment I am most oppositely that. Now this could be but a hiccup; a spark of the match within my head here. Time will tell as it does with everything though I welcome this for now. I welcome it simply as rather strange and yet entirely familiar and exciting.