Wednesday, November 18, 2015
22) Disturbing Children Toys
While watching television, and this simply reinforces the idiocy therein, on came a commercial about a realistic toddler doll for children. Now I really care not what is pitched to who and how as far as products are concerned but this sure had me laughing. So the doll in question, I forget its name, robotically chews things up and ingests them. You are provided with the things which she eats that appear as Playdough or something of that nature that you cut up and shove into her face. Here's the most "fun" part. Minutes later she expels them onto the ground from her rear end. Now I find much that complicates my understanding why any logical person would find this an appropriate toy for anyone except for maybe your buddy registered on Megan's List. First, the robotic chewing motion is utterly disturbing. Can just anything be shoved in there or only those certain, provided putty chews? And why does it crap them out? Anatomically correct yet simply unnecessary. I'm guessing that only a limited amount of "food" is provided so it is then reused. I do not want to explain to my child that he or she cannot reuse their droppings. Why propel your son or daughter though their youth by taking care of a "crappy" child? Those times shall come. I'm guessing there is a warning upon the box, "You should not ingest your own waste." Ridiculous. If there is not such a disclaimer we can all have a happy lawsuit party in six months and I want at least 15%. Lastly, I cannot express how grateful I am to not be the parent who walks in on their child staring at the ass of this doll as it craps out its breakfast. Seeing as how toys fundamentally are meant to occupy and alleviate things such as parent interactions and conversations, this is a nightmare. Your child will figure things out themselves and just be confused. It could also result in some very interesting explanations to your child's doctor as to why your child is relieving brightly colored silly putty. "Oh doc, she's doing what her dolly does." If this does happen please, please email and explain.